roswell recap - season 1 - episode 2

Season1, Episode 2 - The Morning After (scandalous title!)

I am actually following through with my promise (to myself, who else would care?) to re-cap every episode of the show Roswell, a little gem I found on Netflix. To learn more about my ridiculous love of teen soaps and now, Roswell, read this post. Also, this site is where I snaked the screenshots from. Big ups to them.

Liz ponders the idea of Max staying up all night thinking of her as she does with him. Cue scene of Max snoring. Then someone tries to break in Max’s room, but it is just Michael. Why don’t the bedrooms of TV characters ever have screens on their windows? Michael is too juiced to sleep. Crazy alien stuff is brewing. 

Maria starts calling aliens Czechoslovakians. Makes sense. A new teacher wonders where Michael is and why he isn’t in class, which Liz finds weird. No, liz. That’s her job. She’s supposed to ask where students are when they aren’t in class. Anyways, it is the lady who played Dexter’s wife before she was murdered on Dexter. Not pertinent to the storyline, but I thought you might be interested.

Maria wants to tell Alex. OMFG. Never trust teenage girls with your life shattering secrets, aliens. Also, I still hate Maria’s hair. Kyle is still way into Liz, but Liz not so much. She has caught alien fever. Alien LOVE fever. Liz blows him off in favor of seeing what the new teacher has in her hands, which ends up being Michael’s school file. 

Liz freaks a bit and goes to Michael’s house. It isn’t a house, so much as it is a trailer, where his foster dad sits about in his boxers. Super classy digs. If I were a foster parent, I think I would get pissed about every foster child in every tv show ever. They always live in trailers and drink beer for breakfast. Michael thanks Liz for her keen observational skills. And for not vomiting at the sight of his foster dad in boxers. That second part was inferred.

Michael cooks up some scheme that involves selling candy for charity in the police station. No one buys any and his attempt to snoop is thwarted by a deputy. He goes to Max and Isabel to talk about their problems. Being a teen alien is tough. Then Max’s parents come home with pizza, but Michael says his dad is cooking so he has to go home. I don’t think heroine counts as acceptable dinner, Michael. 

The new math teacher doesn’t know there are 180 degrees in a triangle so Liz thinks she’s government. Even if she isn’t a math teacher, she should certainly know there are 180 degrees in triangles. Anyone with a high school education should know that. I guess FBI agents just aren’t as smart as they used to be. 

Max sends Liz a note about meeting in the eraser room. Maria freaks out for Liz because the eraser room is where wild sex parties go on. I’m pretty sure kids just go there to make out, but she is really freaking out. Liz goes, but Max just wants to spy on the new teacher. Buzzkill!

Alex is feeling left out of the loop. He also finds their use of Czechoslovakians bizarre. Maria tells him the natural thing, that they’ve been weird because they have cramps. Teenage boys love hearing about menstruation.  Max tells Michael the faux math teacher is on her way to his “house”. I guess Max and Liz are going to spy, which is hilarious because Kyle follows them. Liz drops her ring and Kyle sees this from a ways back. He thinks something R-rated is going on and I catch myself laughing out loud. It Is actually a hilarious scene, legit. Faux math teacher does show up and then sees Liz who does a terrible job of ducking when Max and Kyle do. Sweet!

Michael, meanwhile, is breaking into the police station or pondering it. Randomly, I think Max is sort of asking Liz out for lunch. Don’t get too amped, Liz. Lunch is a day date (Just Friends reference, anyone?).

Michael melts the bars on the 2^nd story window and breaks into the station, while cops are there. These aliens are ballsy, man. Isabel tries to distract the cops by being a sexy teenager with a flat tire. One dude that is creepster material says he will help, while Sheriff Valenti decides to go along and make sure his deputy doesn’t commit a crime against a minor. Max tells Michael to move it and Michael finds a key that gives him a flash, literally knocking him on his ass. That is a strong key. They get out of there at the last second and Valenti grills Isabel on her brother. Me thinks the Sheriff has a man crush on Max. He is SO into him. 

Faux Math Teacher tells Liz she’s not a substitute teacher, but the new guidance counselor and that Michael is in SERIOUS trouble. He is about to get expelled. I guess because he skips class? She doesn’t feel the need to elaborate. 

The episode ends with Michael stalking Max's family. Wait, you mean he's just staring longingly because he is jealous of their family life? I guess that makes more sense than the whole stalking thing.

Final thoughts: Well, two shows down and the pace has slowed down already, which is a bit of bummer. Michael is apparently always going to be the hot head and Max is always going to be a bit whiney. Can I just say that I like Kyle? I think he's supposed to be a jerk or something, but he is pretty funny and enjoyable. 2 down...59 to go.